Sometimes You Can't Forget
by daffodilsandstarships
Summary: When you've lived for so long, there are a lot of people and things that can come back to haunt you. For Jack, Anna was one of them. Jack x OC angsty oneshot told in a series of flashbacks.


_"The truth is, I love you and there's nothing I can fucking do about it."_

Standing on the rooftop, looking out into the distance, hair blowing in the wind behind her. Anna had never looked more beautiful. She just looked so...free, so...at ease. It was strange how Jack loved her. When he met her, all those years ago, he had never expected to fall for her. But somehow she had grown into the most amazing woman ever while he remained the same, not aging, only moving through time.

"You know, I was always able to read people, know what they were feeling at every moment but not you,"

Jack came out of his state of trance when she spoke. Anna Sylano was an empath, she could feel what others around her were feeling, it was him who had helped her to hone these psychic abilities.

"I never knew why. I mean, with everyone else there was something but with you it was just..." she trailed off for a second, "nothing. All I can feel is that there's something...out of place. You're an anomaly."

She turned and leaned on the edge of the rooftop, moving so that the wind now blew her hair in front of her face.

"I've had so many failed relationship because of my abilities," she said, pushing her hair out of the way, "I was always able to tell when someone's feelings for me were dying. It only made things worse. Either I'd become distant and worried or I'd start trying too hard and it would only end things quicker."

She looked up at him, "maybe that's why I fell for you. Cause for once in my life, I don't know exactly what you're feeling and I fuckin' love that. It's almost liberating."

Jack stepped closer to her, placing his hands gently on her hips, "you're amazing Anna, you know that."

At that moment he could almost feel her heart jump and start speeding up. He could see her pupils dilate within a matter of seconds. He noticed her eyes subtly drift to look at his lips. She wanted to kiss him but something was stopping her. Maybe it was the fact that she couldn't read him. In everyone else she would have ever kissed, she would have known what they wanted. She would have been able to time it just right and create the perfect moment but this, this was like nothing she had ever experienced before and Jack could sense that. In that moment he somehow forgot everything that had come before, everyone who had come before. All that he could see was Anna. God, he hadn't felt this way about a woman since...well what seemed like an eternity. As though there was some sort of magnetic force bringing them together, Jack and Anna drew closer together so that their lips touched. Jack felt her twitch slightly before she grabbed his head and deepened their kiss. The moment seemed to last forever yet when it was over it felt like it had barely lasted at all.

Anna looked at him with a somewhat stunned expression, "that was...weird."

Jack wasn't sure what she meant by that. Sure, their history didn't exactly lend itself to romance but then again, Jack's history didn't exactly lend itself to normality.

"This whole thing is...weird," she continued, "but y'know, I'm kind of okay with it."

* * *

It had been two months. Well, two months that their relationship had been official. They'd known each other for years, they'd had a sort of unspoken "thing" going since the they had re-united three years ago and they had finally shared their first kiss about a year ago. It had taken them awhile to agree on the state of their relationship. Things had been going great overall, at least they had been so far. Anna was late, way late. She hadn't told Jack yet but she had a really bad feeling about it. She hoped that her hunch was wrong, it had to be wrong. The timing was just...wrong. Anna was making great strides forward in her career, she had become the youngest delegate in the World Health Organization and was only on her way up. If she was pregnant, it would only mess things up.

Of course she could probably manage to get herself an abortion somehow. Claim something about her high stress job, that it would cause her a lot of emotional grief or something along those lines. Yet somehow it just didn't feel right. Not with Jack's baby. She was twenty six so naturally she had started thinking about the idea of starting a family with Jack, it was something she knew that she wanted but preferably not now. However if the stick in her hand turned blue, she would feel the need to take that chance now.

She was shaking uncontrollably, watching the clock. Thirty seconds to go before the test would show results. She closed her eyes tightly and felt them start to water. Her senses told her that this wouldn't end well. Something was about to go horribly wrong. Opening her eyes, through the blur of tears, she saw the colour blue. Cursing under her breath and still shaking, she got up and frantically crushed the test with her foot, trying to destroy or mangle it as much as she could before Jack found it. If this was really happening, which god dammit it was, she was going to tell him herself. Anna walked out of the bathroom in a state of trance. It was as though she was on autopilot, going through some sort of motion while everything around her came crashing down. She walked into the living room to find Jack sitting at the dining room table, eating the leftover pancakes that she had made the day before. Not being able to read him or know how he would react only made this more difficult for her. Though his air of mystery was endearing, in moments like this it was downright terrifying.

"Hey, these are really good," Jack said, finishing a bite of the pancakes.

Anna looked up and half smiled. That was when Jack noticed that something was wrong. He put down his fork, got up and moved towards her. She wasn't making eye contact, this wasn't a good sign. He tried to look her in the eye, "Anna? Are you okay?"

Anna looked up, her eyes glistening from the tears that had previously filled them and in a complete neutral tone she said it, "I'm pregnant Jack."

* * *

Standing at her door, he waited. Wondering if this was the right thing. After six years of being gone, what would she say? After he had abandoned her and her unborn child, would she forgive him? Taking a deep breath, he rang the doorbell. He heard voices, the voice of a child and the voice of the woman he came back for. Footsteps followed. Then, at the door, appeared a woman who looked like Anna. It was Anna but not the Anna he had known. Not the Anna who was full of life and love. No this Anna stood in a slouched posture, dressed in a pair of loose bootcut jeans and a worn plaid shirt with her hair in a messy ponytail and a tired face. Her smile that had been ever present all those years ago had since faded.

"Hi," he said.

Anna stared at him, with a neutral expression, as though she didn't know how she should react.

"Hey," was her only response, "what do you want?"

He didn't know what to say. What could he say? All of a sudden he felt this incredible feeling of guilt in his stomach. A feeling that was all too familiar.

"I wanted to see you," it was the only thing he could say, "I wanted to see how you were doing."

Another silence, she just stared at him blankly, "I'm surviving. I'm doing alright. Raising your child, trying to do something with my life."

She had every right to be bitter, she would have had the right to yell at him, to knock him out right then and there but she didn't.

"I'm sorry."

"That's all?"

Before he could respond, a young child came running up beside Anna. The child looked up at Jack, confused, then looked at her mother.

"Mommy who's that?"

Anna looked down at her daughter then up at Jack then back at the child, "Harper, this is your father."

* * *

"Why did you leave. Just like that?"

How did he explain to her why he had left? How could he try and justify his actions when she was like this? The only way was to tell the truth. Let her take it however she would.

"I was afraid." he said, "The closer you got to having the child, the more real it became. I remembered the last child I had and then I remembered how I ruined things with her. I didn't want to do that again."

"Well, here's your chance not to." Anna said, "You get a second chance. Not everyone does."

* * *

Whenever Jack thought back on all the choices he'd made and the people he'd hurt, Anna always came to mind. He wondered why he had done what he had done. Why he had run away before she had the child. Why he had come back six years after, only to leave again after two more. Why he had never made an attempt to contact her again.

Sometimes he wondered how Anna was doing. Had she ever fullfilled the potential that he knew that she had in her? Or had he ruined her life for good? He wondered how Harper was. God, he hated the name, but as Anna had once pointed out he wasn't exactly around to do anything about it. Harper would be twenty two by now. That much Jack knew. Every year he had made a point of sending her something. He wasn't sure if she ever got it. For all he knew Anna might have just hidden it from her. Though it was difficult, Jack had kept his distance. He couldn't face Anna or Harper. He couldn't deal with the guilt. That guilt was only made worse with time. The more times he screwed up and hurt someone else, it always came back. It was one of those things that would just keep haunting him and would never go away. Ever.

* * *

**Unnecessary authors notes: I just want to clear things up: I ship Janto really fucking hard...even though I totally just wrote a depressing fic about Jack and some girl...when a character can live forever the possibility to ship them with multiple people is all too alluring. Also I feel like I should address my character's decision not to opt for abortion. I am extremely pro-choice (don't get me started on it, I will go on and on for days) so her choice does not reflect some hidden agenda it simply fit the situation and the storyline. Okay there you go. That was kind of pointless rambling but oh well.**


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